| Myth: |
A really caring mother
would never give up her child and you don't deserve to
be a mother if you choose adoption. |
| Fact: |
A mother who
unselfishly creates an adoption plan for her child is
placing her child's best interest above her own. It is
an ultimate sacrifice for a mother to choose life for
her child and realize what is best for her child.
Adoption is a caring and responsible process that is
as natural and loving as parenting. |
| |
| Myth: |
My child will hate me. |
| Fact: |
You design your own
unique adoption plan, allowing you to share as little
or as much information as you desire about yourself
and your decision. You gave your child the gift of
life, and put your child's needs first. This will be
explained to your child as he or she gets older.
"My biological mother was in high school when she
was pregnant with me. I'm sure she felt she was not
capable of providing me with everything she wanted me
to have and decided that adoption would be the best
choice for the both of us... My (adoptive) parents are
the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I
could not imagine my life any other way. I am
constantly reminded of the wonderful, selfless choice
my birthparents made by choosing adoption for me. I
have had an abundant life full of many opportunities
that I may not have otherwise been able to enjoy,
including world travel, education, activities and
religion. I was raised in a very loving home, and I
continue to be extremely close to my parents today. I
have never felt any void in my life or felt
differently in any way because of being adopted."
Jackie, adopted child, age 24 |
| |
| Myth: |
Adoption is an
irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy. |
| Fact: |
Adoption requires a
strong and responsible person. Do not feel guilty for
considering adoption or think of parenting as a
deserved punishment for your unplanned pregnancy.
Making the choice for your child to be raised in an
environment that can provide the things you are not
able to at this time is very brave and responsible. |
| |
| Myth: |
Adopted children grow
up with more problems than children who are not
adopted. |
| Fact: |
Adopted children do as
well as or better than their non-adopted counterparts.
A 1994 study by the Search Institute examining adopted
adolescents concluded some of the following facts:
Adopted children score higher than their middle-class
peers on indicators of school performance and social
competence. Adopted adolescents generally are less
depressed than children of single parents and are less
involved in alcohol abuse, vandalism, fighting, police
trouble, use of weapons, and theft. On health
measures, adopted children score higher than children
raised by single parents. Compared with the general
child population, children placed with adoptive
couples are better off economically and adoptive
parents are less likely to divorce. (Taken from
Adoption: The Best Option by Patrick Fagan) |
| |
| Myth: |
Nobody can love a
child as much as a biological parent. |
| Fact: |
While it is true that
a biological parent holds tremendous love for their
child, it is not a matter of biology. It is not
inherited. An adopted couple's love for your child is
the result of a lot of effort and desire to be a
parent. Adoptive parents have a true love and devotion
to the child they adopt because they realize what a
blessing it is to have a child in their lives.
"Our children can learn that...the concept of
'family' does not rest solely on biology. They can
learn that love transcends many artificial boundaries
frequently put into place by humans. They can learn
that closing one door can open another door and
another and another"...Caroline Harding, adoptive
mother (Adoption-Is Another Word for Love, 2000). |
| |
| Myth: |
I will have to say
good bye and will never hear from my child again or
know how they are doing. |
| Fact: |
This has been true in
the past when all adoptions were closed and the child
was taken from the birth mother and she had to live
the rest of her life never knowing what became of her
child. Today, you can create your own adoption plan
which can make it possible for you to select your
child's adoptive parents and meet them. You can choose
to stay in touch while your child is growing up by
receiving pictures and letters which can ensure that
you made the right decision for your child. Open
adoptions even allow you to stay in touch with phone
calls and possibly even occasional visits. |
